Until Dawn
by LittleSong
Summary: Three years ago, Kenny McCormick's partner, Leopold "Butters" Stotch began to behave in strange ways until one day, he disappeared. It's up to Kenny to fight for the life of his best friend, along with his own.
1. Chapter 1

Unlike most of the people of South Park, who had accepted the idea that Butters had just disappeared years ago, Kenny wasn't ready to give up; not now, and not ever. Sometimes, it felt as if the 22 year old was the only one who knew he ever existed. Kenny knew this couldn't be true. How could he be the only one to see the slow, yet ruthless, transformation Butters went through all of those years ago?

He pulled off his orange hood, grabbed a bottle of gin, and poured himself a glass.

After struggling with the broken lock, Karen walked through the door of their small mobile home. Before she could even think of greeting Kenny, the smell of alcohol had already wafted over towards her.

"You're drinking again Kenny"

"I…it's just that…"

Kenny struggled to find exactly the right words to say to Karen. While she never wanted to make him feel as if he was crazy, she never was able to understand Kenny's stories about the boy in the woods either. She would listen, but to her, it all seemed like a desperate cry out for his long-lost friend.

"You know that we left mom and dad's house to escape their constant issues with alcohol. If you keep this up, you'll be no better than them," Karen sternly scolded him as she put down what she could scrounge up at the local market. The worn down expression on her thin face told Kenny that she was angry, but too tired to do anything about it.

She has had that expression for about a year now. This was the time where Kenny and Karen left their parents. While they loved their parents, the constant alcohol use had become an issue. Neither adult had bothered to hold a job. It made it impossible for Kenny to keep up - between working, helping Karen finish school, and fighting to find his missing partner, Kenny had finally cracked under pressure. He and Karen had left for their own goods and never looked back.

For a while, this was going alright. More recently, however Kenny hasn't been doing much better than his parents. He held a steady job as a bartender for about 10 months, but many people at the bar began to recognize him as the lunatic who saw ghosts and heard voices. Eventually, Kenny's unruly and crass attitude got the best of him and he started fighting with the patrons at the bar. He started to feel isolated from all of the ridicule. If nobody else would be his friend, then alcohol would just have to do.

Kenny wanted to say something to make Karen feel better, but he didn't know what to say. The fact of the matter is that she was right - they left to escape alcoholism. Instead, he was welcoming it back into their lives like an old friend.

"I know this might mean nothing to you anymore, but I swear that I will get my life together again," Kenny plead. Karen choked back tears at the sound of his brother's words.

"I sure hope you do," she managed to quietly say, "for your own sake, I hope to God that you do".

Kenny put the bottle back in the cabinet, hoping Karen didn't see where he put it. He knows he should stop, really, but the comfort of having it there when things go wrong helped him get through tough nights like the one he had just been through. He needed to take a walk and talk to his friend, Kyle.

As he walked down the street, he stared down at the sidewalk the whole time. His mind was not paying attention to any of the sights or sounds of South Park. All he could think about was Butters' eyes. How he longed for those cold, dead eyes to go back to being the beautiful, deep oceans of blue that he recognized.

Heavy thoughts cloud his mind.

 _How much longer do I have to fight until you finally come home?_

* * *

Kyle Broflovski has been a good friend to Kenny since they were in preschool. None of Kenny's antics ever got the best of Kyle - not even the whole Butters' ghost situation could scare him away.

They met in their usual spot at the bus stop. While neither boy visits there much anymore, it still felt like a good spot for them to meet. The cool spring breeze brushed their cheeks as they met each other's gaze.

"Kenny! It's been a while. What have you been up to?" Kyle said cheerfully. Like Kyle said, it had been a while since Kenny saw his close friend - a month to be exact. And while a month doesn't seem like much, a lot can happen in a month.

"You know, the usual" Kenny replied nonchalantly.

"The usual as in working, or the usual as in ghost-hunting?"

"I mean…"

Kenny paused. He couldn't tell if his friend was being sarcastic or not. It didn't really matter to Kenny, as he knew his friend wouldn't leave him, but the question still made him think.

"More of the latter than anything" Kenny finally let out with a smirk on his face.

"Ah" Kyle said in a sympathetic way, "well…let's go into town".

* * *

They made their way through the doors of the old diner and squirmed into a small booth.

Kyle looked up at Kenny while Kenny stared down into his cup of black coffee, as if it held any answers.

"I think it's time for you to move on" Kyle said nervously, yet firmly. It wasn't something he wanted to tell his friend, but he felt as if someone had to. If he didn't who was going to?

When Butters disappeared, Kenny immediately began searching for clues - anything to get his beloved friend back. At first, this was seen as an act of bravery. Nobody else had been willing to go to the same lengths to find him as Kenny was. After a while though, it had become extremely difficult for Kyle to watch Kenny continue this futile fight. He thought that Kenny would have given in by now, but here they were three years later - in the same diner they were at when they heard the news of Butters' disappearance.

"He's out there and I'm going to find him" Kenny affirmed his friend. He couldn't believe that the one friend who has stuck with him through all of this was changing his mind.

"Butters is gone. I'm sorry Kenny, but it's time for you to…you know…move on".

His words pierced through Kenny's soul. He knew that by now, he should have given up. This chase for Butters was proving itself helpless. Quite frankly, it was harming Kenny more than anything. The endless lives he lived after each attempt to retrieve his friend had become more and more tiresome, and they were starting to take a toll on him mentally. But if not Kenny, who else would save Butters? Who else could try time and time again, just coming back to life after each failure?

Kenny laid out his feelings to his close friend. "Well who else is going to save him?" Kenny blurted out in a fit of rage. "You asshole! Butters has no one else!"

Kyle attempted to reason with Kenny. He knew how much he had been through and that this conversation was going to be a tough one. "Maybe if you get a job again, you'll get your mind off of it. Even small businesses in South Park are always looking for-"

"Are you kidding me? And leave his soul in the woods to be forgotten? He's out there and-"

"Butters is gone and you know it!" Kyle cut him off.

There was silence. Patrons of the run down diner turned their heads to watch the showdown. Both boys could feel all eyes on them, but did not avert their gaze.

Finally, Kenny slipped out of the booth and walked off. "Where do you think you're going?" Kyle asked his friend in a somewhat guilty tone.

"I'm going to bring Butters home".


	2. Chapter 2

Kyle remained in the booth with his head down. He felt his heart sink and the guilt set in as Kenny walked away from the diner. The patrons that surrounded him went on with their lunches as usual, but Kyle was left feeling more alone than ever.

"Can I get you anything?" the waitress asked in a sympathetic tone. From the look on her old, round face, you could tell she felt bad for Kyle. The grey in her hair told Kyle that she has had her fair share of struggles.

"Our friend Butters would be nice," Kyle quipped. The waitress knew this wasn't directed as a negative towards her so she let the boy have his space.

Memories of he and Kenny hanging out as kids flooded Kyle's mind. He wished he could have the old Kenny back just as much as Kenny wished for Butters back. Despite the craziness of his poor home, Kenny was a happy kid. Crass to say the least, but happy. Now that Butters was gone, he always looked so defeated. It was as if the will to live had escaped his friend's mind.

Kyle paid the bill, tipped the nice woman, and left the diner. The crisp South Park air and blue sky greeted him as he exited.

" _I hoped today would be a new day for Kenny,_ " Kyle thought to himself, " _but I can't help him if he won't help himself"_.

Kyle began to feel angry. How could Kenny want this for himself? All Kyle was trying to do was make life better for Kenny - to help him start again and make a life for himself. "Kenny's a fool," he reasoned.

Kyle continued down the street until he reached his house, where he lived with his best friend Stan Marsh. Already frustrated, he had realized he forgot his key and rang the doorbell, hoping to get out of the cold quickly.

"How'd it go dude?" Stan asked his friend. He saw the disappointed expression on Kyle's face and knew the answer before Kyle could even start.

"No dice".

Kyle walked through the door of their new place. It was a small house in a typical South Park suburb. After Kyle finished his degree in psychology and Stan finished his degree in political science, they were able to start their jobs as a counselor and a paralegal and find a place for themselves in South Park. It wasn't a large house, like some of the others, but it was perfect for where they were in their lives.

The boys sat on opposite ends of the couch and cracked open a beer.

"I just don't know how to get through to him," Kyle muttered as he set down his beer, "I really hate to see him suffer like that though. It's like, why can't he just move on like the rest of us?"

"Nobody wants to see him suffer, but there's not much you can do about it anymore, you know?" Stan said in a matter-of-fact way, "Watching you constantly try to get him to give up isn't easy either".

Stan expected some sort of witty response from his friend, but heard nothing instead. The room fell silent.

"Well," Kyle sighed as he swung his feet around and dangled them over the arm of their red couch, "at least I'm moving on with my life. This isn't negatively affecting me the way it is Kenny".

"I would beg to differ. I've seen the way it frustrates you".

Silence again.

"Remember Kyle, at one point, you were by his side every night, scouring the woods for your old friend".

"That's over. I'm never doing that again!" Kyle snapped. He pulled his green hat over his eyes to cover up the tears that began to form.

Stan felt bad for his friend. He knew he had suffered through so much trying to find Butters.

"It's going to be okay. Kenny will find his way".

Kyle sat up on the couch and put his head down in hopes of hiding the tears that continued to well up in his eyes. He grabbed his hat in one hand and threw to his side, all the while wiping tears from his eyes with the other.

Kyle finally picked his head up, revealing a scar across the right side of his face. It was something that he didn't like to show, as it reminded him of the internal scars that cut much deeper than any physical scars could.

"Fuck me, dude".

— —

Kyle's words rang in Kenny's head. To leave Butters behind? Start a new life without him?

The thought of a life without butters made Kenny's heart ache. All of those years, Kenny never admitted his true feelings towards Butters. He really liked him. Hell, he loved him. He longed for that cheerful spirit to come back into his bleak, endless life.

Kenny became lost in thought as he walked back down the streets of South Park towards Stark's Pond. He thought about the ways he would tousle the boy's blonde hair when he was hanging out with him.

"Stop," Butters would say playfully with a chuckle, "you're messing up my hair".

"Ah, I'm just messing with you. Don't get your balls in a twist" Kenny played back to his friend. Sometimes he would continue to mess with his hair, despite Butters' wishes. It was his way of messing with his friend, but also his way showing his affection.

Although he's known as the crass friend of the group, affection is not a stranger to Kenny. When his friends needed him, he was always there. When Karen felt alone, Mysterion saved the day.

But who was going to save him?

Kenny wished this could be the end. If his friend really was dead, then all he really cared about was being with him.

Yet, Kenny knew this wasn't possible. Time and time again would he die only to wind up right back in the same spot he did every other time he died. More and more drained each time, the walls of his condemned childhood home became refuge for Kenny's newly spawned bodies. What happened to the old bodies, he would never know. All he knew was that when he went back to find it the next morning, it never failed to have disappeared.

When he was a child, the thought of another death was terrifying, but as an adult, it was one of the only constants in his life. It had almost become comforting, but he wouldn't consider it a happy thought. It was no longer saddening either though. It was just a thought, always looming over his head.

After a long walk, Kenny made his way back home. He knew Karen would be waiting for him, and he couldn't wait to see her again. While everything else in his life was falling apart, she was always there to pick him up. He knew she was disappointed in him lately, but she still stuck by him, day after day.

"Hi Kenny. How was lunch? What took you so long?" Karen asked.

"Kyle and I were just catching up. Haven't seen him in a month or so, you know?"

Karen could tell there was more on his mind that he wasn't saying. Kyle had told her all about his plan to get Kenny to stop pursuing Butters, and she was curious. "Yeah," she said, "it has been a while, hasn't it?"

Kenny wandered over to his seat at their small, broken table. Karen was hoping that Kenny would tell her that he was going to do something, like get a job, or do anything but continue his search.

"Too long. He's changed. He had the audacity to tell me to stop looking for Butters".

Karen fell silent. An old, rusting pot started to boil on the stove. Her brown hair fell around her face as she place some cut up carrots in the pot and stirred it a little bit.

Karen finally resumed, "Well maybe there's a little bit of truth in what he had to say".

Kenny knew she felt scared for her brother. Every day was a gamble with him. Would he return that night or would he leave her wondering if he was okay? She knew he would always be back eventually, but she also knew that each night left new wounds. His body may come back anew each time he was hurt, but the pain he felt inside would never leave. She just wanted him to be okay for once.

"I know that everyone wants me to stop, but I just can't. To leave him behind would be wrong".

"It would be what's best for you though".

Kenny knew she was right. He just didn't want to accept his friend's death, let alone did he know how to. Even if he did get over it, would the thing that took Butters start to take his other friends? The thought of losing his other friends always was in the back of his mind, but it never happened.

" _A world where I slowly lose my friends_ ," he thought, " _I can't stand it_ ".

These thoughts continued to take hold of his mind, but he wasn't going to tell Karen this. "I'll try to move on Karen", he said instead.

"Oh, you will?!" she shouted. She ran over towards Kenny, wrapping her arms around him. "I've been hoping to pull through at some point. You saved me so many times when we were kids. I'm just so happy…" tears of joy filled her eyes, "just so happy that I can finally do the same for you".

A huge grin spread across Karen's face as she held her brother. Kenny smirked as he felt her warm arms around him. Karen always gave the warmest hugs. They were just as warm as Butters. It was a comforting feeling to have her by his side.

He felt that he didn't deserve her.

" _What if they take her too?_ " he thought. Dark thoughts began to creep in again, but Karen's hugs helped make him feel at peace.

The forest. It was always so peaceful - the perfect place to finally see Butters again, even if for a short time.

— —

As usual, the forest was quiet. This was the best place for Kenny to leave this world and enter onto the other side.

He found the edge of the cliff. The bottom led to a river that rushed across from one end of Kenny's line of vision to the other. Maybe if he saw Butters for just a brief amount of time, he would find answers. He would find a sign, a clue, a message - anything that could lead him to the Butters on the other side.

He had no idea if this would work - hell, he didn't know if Butters was dead or alive, but he knew that he had to be out there somewhere. This was the last place he would look. If he didn't find Butters on the other side, he would give up. If he did, then he could possibly save his friends and family from the horror of this monster.

All it takes is a leap of faith.

A leap.


End file.
